i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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