After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
