Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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