every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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