I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
