Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
