Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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