I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
