Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
