he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
