Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
