I hate your face
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
