We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
