You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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