i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
