Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
