She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
