Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
