so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
