yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
