i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
