and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
