I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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