The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
