If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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