He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
