i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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