Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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