btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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