whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
