If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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