Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
