Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
