yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
