I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
