So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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