why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
