Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
