Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
so much tequila, so little girl.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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