Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
