If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
