Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
