your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
