Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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