Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
