East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
