.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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