wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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