Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
