$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i out mim tonsoeep
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
