Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
