If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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