Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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